Hard Lessons

While I've been through this once before, it's not any easier. A couple of years ago we lost our first dog, Buddy, after a good 13 or 14 years in the family. It was hard and I was overcome with guilt and sadness. Today, we lost Hank, our second dog after 15 years in the family. It's a painful reminder of how attached you can become to an animal & how the saying "man's best friend" is nothing short of the truth.

While I've always been a big dog fan it's times like these that bring you to the realization of just how great they really are. They love you no matter what. Dogs don't care that you yelled at them 3 minutes ago, that they were left outside to live their lives come rain or snow, or that you hadn't been out to see them in days--maybe even weeks. All that mattered to them was that you were there to see them then, at that moment, and it made them so incredibly excited that they couldn't care less about anything else you did or didn't do.

And I think thats where the guilt sets in for me through all of this--when I think of the attention they didn't get because they were outside, out of sight-out of mind type of thing. How they never got to be squeezed and loved on like a pet you might have inside your house, who you see & spend time with everyday, who you tell is a "good dog" or laugh at them as they exhibit their individual personality. Instead, Hank and Buddy sat outside merely waiting for someone to step outside and call their name to say "hello" or for a quick pat on the head as you may happen to walk by.

This guilt has hit me really hard, it did the first time when Buddy passed away & again today for Hank. So as a way to sort of honor Hank and Buddy(as silly as it may sound) I have made a promise to myself that throughout my life I will not get a dog for who I intend to live outside-- out of sight, out of mind, and on the end of a leash. A dog deserves more than that, and while Hank and Buddy knew no different it makes me cry to think of all the things I didn't do with them that I should have. They deserved so much more than they were given & yet they loved us unconditionally. How often can I say that even about myself?

Rest in peace doggies, we love you & thanks for loving us just the way we were. You're special to me and you'll be missed!