We realize that some people just never have enough things to do, which is why Brad and I believe those types of people really should invest in some sort of a hobby to avoid or suppress the urge to make up absurd stories about their neighbors, and then complain to managment about us on multiple occasions. We also realize that sometimes complicating your own life just doesn't give you satisfaction enough so you base stories that involve other people to keep things exciting. This is most likely the reason you've dragged us into your fables, as well as the lawyers that you've threatened to get---on what grounds? I'm not sure.
I have a few (friendly, of course) suggestions for you, to make both of our lives easier. Perhaps you see an otolaryngologist as neither your nose or ears seem to be working properly. Maybe he can find some explanation as to why you are smelling cigarette smoke coming from our apartment above you, where we--two non-smoking mormons--happen to live. And while he is at it, maybe have him take a look at your ears as you seem to be hearing us "pounding and throwing things on the ground above your bedroom (which happens to be below a room we NEVER use, other than for storage) to get you to stop snoring (cause we can apparently hear it through the floor) at 8:30 pm every night". In fact, I just had another fabulous idea! While he is looking at that nose of yours in regards to our cigarette smoke, perhaps he can FIX that snoring problem in and of itself since it seems to make you so self-conscious that you make up these stories about us causing a ruckus over it, when neither of us even heard it.
Most of all, please please please (for your sake and the possibility of me spending time in prison) do not make me come down there and solve this problem on my own. It will not be pretty, and I may provide you with a peacefully- everlasting, non-snoring sleep and solve both of our problems.
Sincerly,
(Sorry for the intense sarcasm, but SOME people! Give me a break)
3 comments:
I love how you rant and rave and then sign it with a fancy "Erica." Jana and I love it.
Love it love it!
You would not belive the stuff people complained about when we were managing. It was insane! We had people complaining about what time their neighbors showered in the morning to the fact that they could hear the cars on the street (our apartment was located on one of the busiest roads in ogden, right by the hospital). I would always tell them to figure it out. I can't belive your landlord would tell you such silly complaints. I think you should go down there and tell her where to stick it. That will shut her up. Or you could always really make life a living hell for her and make as much noise as you possibly could.
She really shouldn't be complaining at all. Don't you have some sort of "quite" hours?
She really needs to get a life.
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